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FRANCE: ITS CLAIM TO FAME
HOME TO THE KING OF FARTS
Even with its World Cup championship in 1998, France still has a more grandiose claim to fame, Le Petomane, the "King of Farts."
In all fairness to the farters of the world, the greatest of them all was not by the passing of gas out of control. His completely conscious control of his abilities was confirmed by numerous examinations, including two in published form. This unique individual, christened as Joseph Pujol, was a phenomenon among phenomenon, an explosive personality who took the name by which all history knows him: Le Petomane.
Le Petomane could fart as often and frequently as he wished. His farts were odorless. By constricting or loosening his anus he could vary the pitch of the gas he expelled and by controlling his abdominal contraction could control the loudness. He could actually make music through his arse!
He headlined in the Moulin Rouge in Paris, the most famous nightclub in the world at the time and brought in box office receipts greater than the famous Sarah Berhardt. The manager of the Moulin Rouge kept a nurse in the theater to tend to female customers whose uncontrolled laughter in tight corsets often cause them to pass out as Le Petomane passed gas.
HIS ACT - He Traveled Europe and Performed Before Heads of State In one of his early acts that got him a contract at the Moulin rouge, his open dialogue consisted of him turning his back to the audience, leaning over and beginning his imitations. "This one is a little girl," he would say and emit a delicate, tiny fart. "This one is a mother-in-law," he would say, and there would be a sound like the sliding of a trombone's valve on a steady note. "This is the bride on her wedding night," very demure indeed, "and this is the morning after," a loud, loud one. Then he would do a dressmaker tearing two yards of calico, letting out a fart that lasted at least 10 seconds, and then cannon fire, thunder, and so on.
The Moulin Rouge, acting as Le Petomane's agent, encouraged him to travel abroad. In other European countries he was a star attraction. At one performance a man leaned forward and placed a 20 louis gold piece into Le Petomane's hat. Quite a sum in those days. He said he had travelled a distance to see the act and could not see him in his own country for his own movements were so closely watched. He had come to Paris that night incognito to hear the great Le Petomane. He was King Leopold II of Belgium!
HIS FINAL PASSING - The medical faculty at the Sorbonne offered Pujol 25,000 francs for the right to examine his body after his death. He accepted for his family's benefit. But when he died at the age of 88, the family refused the offer. Having made flatulence a subject not for aggression but for pleasantry, Joseph Pujol, Le Petomane, the greatest farter in history came to his final passing at age 88 in 1945.
MORE FROM THE CRAPPER RAPPER
One question that people ask about the US space program is how do the astronauts relieve themselves in space. The toilet routine has changed over time. The first astronauts simply didn't relieve themselves for the rides were very short. There were no provisions and that led to Alan Shepard once pissing in his spacesuit . Nasa control shut down the sensors in his suit so he wouldn't short them out. Shepard was lucky because he was laying on his back where the liquid could pool in the small of his back where it was quickly soaked up by his cotton under garments and was evaporated quickly by the steady stream of oxygen blowing through his spacesuit.
Gus Grissom, scheduled to go into space some 2 months after Shepard, demanded the "pottie" problem be solved. A flight surgeon was assigned to solve the problem. He sent one of the nurse down town to buy a women's panty girdle (which was very absorbent for those days). So Grissom was the first astronaut to go into space wearing women's lingerie!
Later when the Gemini program got started astronauts graduated to urine and fecal bags to do their business. They used special diapers for spacewalks. They disposed of the urine by an overboard dump valve since none of the astronauts relished the idea of sitting around with two weeks worth of pee that potentially could escape into the cabin. The solid waste was handled differently. The spacesuit was taken off and an adhesive top of a plastic bag - equipped with toilet paper and a wet-wipe cleaning tissue - was affixed to the buttocks. When the operation was completed, a germicide was placed in the bag, the bag was sealed and stored in a waste storage locker.
A dump on the moon? Since the lunar model itself had no overboard dump value Armstrong and Aldrin planted more than the US flag on the moon. They left behind all the astronauts' piss and crap in bags on the moon surface since they had to lighten the lunar model to minimum weight before blasting off the moon's surface. The bags are still there today.
Finally when the Space Shuttle program was initiated a space toilet called the "Waste Collection Facility" or WCF for short was developed. It was to cost 3 million to develop but with the usual bureaucratic over-runs it ended up costing the American tax payer more than $30 million! Undoubtably the world's most expensive crapper.